


Your Tubbo

by Azkaabanter



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depressed Tommy, Dream Smp, Emotional Manipulation, Exile, Ghostbur is a sweetheart, Hurt and comfort, I'm pretty sure that the way Dream treats Tommy could be considered a war crime, Manipulative Dream, People who ship Tommy and Tubbo are disgusting, Suicidal Tommyinnit, Tommy just misses his Tubbo, Villain Dream, tw: suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27968885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azkaabanter/pseuds/Azkaabanter
Summary: Tommy had lost literally everything he cared about. His country, his home, his best friend, his family... he could go on. All he had left was Dream, the one person in the world who he managed to hate more than himself.The really sad part is that he would be fine losing it all if he could just see his Tubbo one last time. Maybe then, he could be content with finally giving up.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 7
Kudos: 395





	Your Tubbo

**Author's Note:**

> Check tags for trigger warnings. I wanted to write something for this arc on the SMP because it really interests me where they're taking Tommy's character. Anyway, enjoy!!

Dream was a bastard. He was a sick fuck. He was  _ evil _ .

“It’s not your time to die yet.”

“It’s never my time to die.”

Dream had escorted him back to his tent, to his poorly made city of logs. It was depressing and ugly, and so, so lonely. He’d sat on his bed, staring at the wall for hours, unmoving except for shallow breaths and shaking hands. Dream had stayed for much of the time, typing away on his communicator, smiling and giggling. How come everyone wanted to be friends with the green psychopath, but didn’t want to be friends with Tommy?

How did it get to the point where Dream was the only person he had left?

Somehow he found the time in his schedule to harass Tommy for hours and hours, destroying his crudely made tools, barring him from L’manberg, and still managing to toy with his mind.

“I’m here for you, Tommy. I’m your  _ friend _ .” He’d always emphasize with a smile in his tone, masked head cocked to the side with an arm thrown over Tommy’s shoulder. And Tommy would nod his head and agree because he felt so alone. Was it really the worst thing in the world to have Dream by his side all day, every day?

His mind wandered to his old companion, remembering his laugh and smile. Tubbo was nothing like Dream. Tubbo would never hurt him.

‘ _ But he did, hurt you. He exiled you, he abandoned you. Everyone has abandoned you.  _

_ Everyone except for Dream. _ ’ He thought bitterly.

The sound of boots moving through the grass pulled Tommy out of his stupor. The light inside of the tent had changed into a warm orange, hours having passed without him even noticing. His stomach growled and his mouth was dry, but neither fact particularly concerned him.

“Can you handle yourself for a bit while I go attend to some business back home?” Dream asked casually, stepping outside of the tent and standing at his full height to stretch.

“Back home?” Tommy asked, dazed. A small laugh emerged from Dream as he rolled his neck and adjusted his glowing chestplate.

“L’Manburg.  _ My _ home.” Tommy looked down at his hands and frowned.

“You don’t have to rub it in like this, you know.” He said quietly. Heavy footsteps approached again, a gloved hand coming under Tommy’s chin, pointer finger tipping his face up to look directly into the small black dots which represented Dream’s eyes.

“You did this to yourself, Tommy. If you had just let George be, you wouldn’t be here.” Dream’s tone seemed to shift for a microsecond at the mention of George’s name, but was back to its original malice before the change could even register. “But because we’re friends, you and I, I’m doing you a favor. I’m going back to see if anyone wants to visit you.” Tommy’s heart started to beat faster at the idea of seeing someone,  _ anyone _ else just one more time.

“You are?” Dream dropped his hand.

“Of course I am, I’m not a monster.” A beat. “You don’t trust me, Tommy?” He asked, voice full of venom. The younger man stuttered, trying to come up with an answer.

“I- of course I do, I promise I do.” ‘ _ Don’t make him mad don’t make him mad don’t make him mad-’ _

“Good. I’ll be back soon.” Tommy’s anxiety was replaced with an aching numbness once again. Dream stepped out of the tent. He made a show of making sure all of his armor was secure and his sword was still safely in his scabbard. Tommy just watched, completely aware that the careful way that Dream was assessing his armor was simply an act of intimidation that was working. Dream was  _ scary _ . He was on par with Techno in combat, incredibly intelligent, and he had every resource that the world could offer. Who was Tommy to stand up to someone like that? “You know the consequences for stepping out of line. I’m sure you’re smarter than that.” He said offhandedly.

“Yeah.” Words were hard to force out as the pair walked to the portal, the swirling purple casting an eerie glow onto Dream’s forest green hunter’s cloak, muddying the tone into something evil looking. His armour underneath seemed more intense and threatening with the light, the netherite seeming to call to its’ home dimension. And that stupid, awful mask looked right at home in the whole ensemble. 

The older didn’t even look back before he stepped through, instantly disappearing into the Nether. Tommy just stood there and stared, the night growing darker around him. His skin prickled with the cold, shivers wracking through his body that was growing more frail by the day. He couldn’t sleep out in the woods alone- the silence was too loud, the world too empty for him to find rest. The soil around his camp was too sandy and rocky to farm his carrots, and for some reason there was little wildlife to be found nearby.

He’d learned quickly not to stray too far from his camp without Dream’s permission- the bastard had given him a nasty scar on his chest thanks to that netherite sword. Now his shirt was ripped and sporting a permanent brown stain courtesy of the blood which had poured out of him that night. He’d been left to tend to the wound on his own until Ghostbur paid him a visit and offered some moral support.

“ _ Who did you say did that to you?”  _ Ghostbur had asked curiously. Tommy kept his eyes averted from his dead brother’s, not having the heart to look his old mentor in the eye.

“ _ A zombie with a wickedly enchanted sword. Don’t worry about me, Wil. Tough as nails, this one. _ ” He’d reassured. Wilbur had been happy enough with the answer, and once Tommy’s wounds were wrapped he’d showered the younger in blue. Back then the cheerfulness had been enough to bring a smile to his face despite the throbbing of the wound in his chest.

Now, not so much.

Tommy didn’t know how long he stood in front of that portal, the tendrils of supernatural purple magic coming to caress his skin, calling him, tempting him.

‘ _ If I go through, maybe I can see Tubbo again.’ _ He thought. ‘ _ Maybe I can sneak back in, just for a second. Just a moment, to make sure everything is alright _ .’ Bones rattled nearby, a skeleton probably gearing up to shoot. Tommy found that he wouldn’t mind the pain very much. ‘ _ Who is Dream to tell me where I can and can’t go?’ _ He cautiously put a hand forward, fingers grazing the purple mist. ‘ _ I’m Tommy. I built L’Manberg from the ground up. I deserve to be there _ .’ His head whipped from side to side, eyes wide as if Dream was somehow hiding in the bushes, waiting for him to break a rule so that he could take more from him. ‘ _ What if he finds out though?’ _ Tommy’s heart was beating out of his chest, breath catching in his throat. Tears pricked the back of his eyes as he forced himself to take a step forward. ‘ _ What if he takes the compass? _ ’

Before he could turn back, Tommy found himself instantly enveloped in heat, the change in temperature knocking the breath out of him as he stepped out of the mist. 

The Nether was the same as always- red enough to melt his eyeballs. He reached up to rub his face, which for some reason felt numb. His entire body felt numb in fact, all except for the nausea that was consuming his abdomen.

If Dream found him he’d never see his home again.

He’d never see Tubbo again.

Why was he taking that risk? 

He found himself beginning the journey to the main portal, not really thinking about it as he climbed through the basalt delta getting countless scrapes and burns. His brain was just whirring as he drew closer to the portal home. Tubbo could hate him, he knew. The older hadn’t even  _ tried _ to visit him in his exile, and Dream made it seem like nobody wanted him around at all. This whole thing was high risk, low reward.

As the massive blackstone bridge came into view, he found that he didn’t care about the odds. He’d lost everything already: if he saw Tubbo one more time and then died for good, he’d die happy. 

He stepped onto the bridge, a plan hatching in his brain.

Maybe that would be a good plan.

The swirling purple mist was now in clear view, L’Manberg on the other side calling to him.

He’d see Tubbo one last time, even from afar, and he’d end it. That way Dream would lose his power, the discs would mean nothing, and everyone he loved would finally be free. Even if they didn’t love him, that was no reason to make them suffer more because of his actions.

Before he could stop to think, Tommy barreled straight through the portal into the overworld. 

The temperature difference was once again a shock, but this time lesser. L’Manberg and its surrounding provinces were warm and bright, the infrastructure booming and the area blooming with life. A surge of energy flowed through the teenager at being back on familiar grounds, paths he’d walked thousands of times.

Tommy quickly stepped away from the portal and went down the stairs, eager to get out of open space and into the shadows where Dream was less likely to catch him. He snuck towards the community house, but instead of crossing the bridge skirted the lake, hiding in the tall bamboo stalks until he could creep silently into the oak trees of the forest. He didn’t have the slightest idea of Tubbo’s location, but somehow he found himself making his way towards the bench outside of his old house. 

He kept to the valley and avoided the path, which was much too obvious. Along the way he heard plenty of familiar voices. Sapnap and Quackity flirted with Karl by the treeline, and near a pond Sam was talking to Bad and Ant. They all seemed happy without him, their lives unchanged.

Nowhere did he see Dream, which he was very thankful for. That man had a sixth sense for when Tommy was nearby, and he knew that no matter how well he hid himself, he’d be caught and most likely made a mockery of.

Soon enough he found himself in the valley under the bench’s cliff. There was no way he could scale it without getting caught, but he found that he didn’t need to.

At the top sat Tubbo, legs dangling over the edge, and Ghostbur beside him. Tommy’s hands started to shake, and against his will there was a prickle of tears in his eyes. His best friend was up there, looking out at the horizon. God, he was  _ alive _ . 

He leaned out further from behind the tree trunk and brushed the leaves out of his face to get a better look. He was far away, but still he could make out the glint of metal in Tubbo’s hand as the brunette looked at Ghostbur and talked, confusion evident in his face. Some of his words drifted down into the gulley.

“It’s changing direction so much… I’m scared he’s-” Tommy’s heart dropped into his stomach. The compass pointed to  _ him _ . That meant that Tubbo had to know he was close by: the closer a compass’s target was, the more sensitive it got to movement. Dream had said that Tubbo threw the compass away, but it was right there, in plain sight. Maybe Tubbo  _ did _ miss him.

There was a tug in his heart, and impulse to call up to his friends and tell them that he was there and that he missed them, but of course he stayed quiet, fear holding him back. Dream could have been anywhere.

Tommy knew he should leave; go back to the Nether before things got too dicey, before the odds shifted out of his favor, but he found that he couldn’t. 

That was going to be the last time he ever was going to see his best friend. He deserved more time.

So he watched for a while as Tubbo and Ghostbur talked, tears streaming silently down his face. Tommy didn’t know exactly what they were for, but they were a long time coming. It was hard to watch and know that he was going to be leaving them behind, but maybe he’d come back like Wilbur did; in blissful ignorance of the pain he’d caused in life. Maybe people would take pity on him as well and not tell him all of the things he’d done wrong.

“Oh, there he is Tubbo, that’s why the compass was going bonkers earlier!” Ghostbur’s voice wafted down on the breese, freezing the blonde’s heart.

_ No, no, no. _

Tommy tried to shrink further behind the tree, breaths coming in quick shallow puffs. Tubbo couldn’t see him; if he was seen Dream would find out, and then he’d be in even deeper shit. He peeked out to see Ghostbur staring right at him, an arm pointing straight to the tree he was using as a hiding place with Tubbo following his line of sight.

Fuck.

Tommy wasted no time in turning and booking it back to the portal as fast as his legs could carry him. Stealth didn’t mean shit anymore: he had gotten what he wanted, now all he needed to do was get back to the Nether and finish what he started the day Dream had pulled him back from the edge. 

He crashed through the trees, branches slicing into his face and arms as he barrelled through. 

“Tommy!” He heard Tubbo call from behind him. He didn’t slow down, even though his legs were burning and his lungs felt like they were going to explode. If he got caught, he was utterly fucked. “Stop! Fuck, slow down!” 

The community house came into view, and instead of going around he took the shorter path of crossing the bridge and barging through the doors.

“What the- Tommy?”

“Hi George. Sorry again about the house.” Tommy wheezed out in the moment he allowed himself to catch his breath, before starting to run again. He made it through the house and across the other bridge, then finally up the stairs and to the portal, not pausing to look back on L’Manberg before going through. As the swirls consumed him, he saw Tubbo running towards him on the bridge frantically, Ghostbur beside him, and a glint of Netherite armor far in the distance.  _ ‘Goodbye. _ ’ He thought. 

He exited the portal much more relaxed than he’d entered it, taking his time to step away from the obsidian. 

He walked towards the edge, the savage heat that the lava threw off just about burning the delicate hairs on his arms.

‘ _ I’m making the right choice, right? _ ’ He asked himself, looking down into the orange pit below. It felt different to stand there from how it had felt last time: last time there was more desperation, this time there was a finality to it. He accepted it. This was what had to happen for everyone he loved to be free. 

It was what he had to do to free himself of the guilt and bone crushing loneliness he felt every day without Tubbo by his side.

“ _ I’m your friend” _ Dream would say, then turn around in the same breath and ruin what little work he had done to try to build a new life for himself.

Dream wasn’t his friend, not at all.

Tommy closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath of the acidic Nether air, straightening his posture in the way Tubbo always bothered him to do.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered to empty abyss, then allowed himself to fall forward.

“TOMMY!” A shrill cry caused his eyes to pop open, the only part of his body still in contact with the path being the toes of his sneakers as lava filled his vision. Something yanked the back of his shirt, pulling the teenager back onto the platform, gasping for air, and before Tommy could even process that he wasn’t being consumed by lava, arms were thrown around him and tears were drenching his shirt. “What the  _ fuck _ was that?!?” Tubbo cried as he pulled Tommy into his lap, holding him incredibly tightly.

“I-”

“Why the hell would you try to, to-”

“I thought you hated me.” Tommy managed to push out despite the shock rendering his brain useless. Tubbo’s head pulled instantly back from where it was buried into his best friend’s chest, and gave an incredulous look.

“I could never hate you.” He sniffed and wiped tearstreaked cheeks on his sleeves, never moving his arms from their places. “Why were you in L’Manberg?”

“I had to see you one last time.” Tubbo hesitated, the orange light provided from the lava below making the bags under his eyes stand out starkly against his light skin. 

“Why would you jump, Tommy?” He asked softly. Tommy was silent for a moment, looking to Ghostbur who had an absolutely terrified expression on his face.

“If I’m gone, Dream has nothing over you or our home anymore. I just figured it would be better for everyone if I just…” Tears began to roll down his cheeks all of the stress and sadness and heartbreak leaking out at once, his body breaking down. 

“That’s bullshit, TommyInnit. Absolute bollocks.” Tubbo exclaimed. “We can figure this out, I’ll make a new deal with Dream, you’ll be able to come home, and-”

“No one wants me here anymore. Everyone has moved on, Dream made that very clear to me. I won’t be missed.” Tubbo’s brow furrowed.

“What has Dream been telling you?”

“The truth.” Tommy stiffened at a new voice, his heart rate picking up exponentially. Dream came into his view, casually resting his sword on his shoulder. “Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you stepped out of line?” Tommy felt so incredibly small, Tubbo’s arms still holding him tightly.

“You’ve already taken everything from me. What more do you want?” Tommy found his voice to be embarrassingly weak and shaky. Pathetic. Dream squatted down after putting his sword back in its sheath, resting his elbows on parted knees and balancing on the balls of his feet. He looked like a goddamn panther, ready to tear the teenagers apart.

“I want to break you.”

“What are you playing at?” Tubbo spoke up, anger clear in his tone. The brunette wasn’t one to get mad, but when he did it was never a good outcome.

“I told Tommy that if he broke the rules, there would be consequences.” Dream shrugged as if everything that was happening was nonconsequential to him. Everything was a game. “Say goodbye to Tubbo, Tommy. You’ll never be seeing him again.” Tommy’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach, Tubbo’s arms around him getting noticeably tighter.

“What are you-”

“I had Sam make a little something for me-” The grin was audible in his voice. “An inescapable prison. Not even Technoblade would be able to get out-” Dream reached out and pulled Tommy easily from Tubbo’s grip, holding his bicep bruisingly tight. “-and since you obviously can’t be trusted in exile, that’s where you’re going.”

“Dream no, no I’m sorry I’ll stay away, please-” He was trying to think of something,  _ anything _ , that could get him out of the situation he’d found himself in, but there was nothing. He had no leverage, and Dream was getting way too much joy out of his struggles.

“I tried to warn you… it’s not your time to die, and somehow you forget that no matter what game you play, I always win.” Dream started to drag him back to the portal, Tommy reaching out desperately for Tubbo, who was following closely behind.

“Dream, wait.” Tubbo said sternly. The older paused, him and Tommy inches away from the swirling purple of the portal. 

Tommy looked at Tubbo in that moment, and realized how  _ old  _ he now looked. Just weeks ago he’d been young and full of life- maybe a little stressed, a little tired, but now he looked like a new person. The light in his eyes had dimmed, and he stood slouched like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, which he kind of did. It was hard to see his best friend like that, broken and sad… was that all because of  _ him _ ?

Tubbo took a deep breath before speaking.

“If you leave him to exile again, L’Manberg is yours.” Tommy’s heart stopped.

“Tubbo-”

“I’m listening.” Dream said, interest clearly piqued as he turned to face the younger once again, his grip on Tommy’s arm unwavering.

“I won’t fight, there will be no election, nothing. The government will be disbanded, and you will be in charge of the land, just like you wanted.” Dream was quiet for a few moments, considering the offer. Tommy felt like he was going to pass out.

“What’s to stop you from taking power back after I agree?” Tubbo’s expression hardened.

“I’ll be exiled with Tommy.” The blonde’s eyes widened.

“Tubbo no, you can’t do this I won’t let you-”

“Deal.” Dream said simply, shoving Tommy’s body back toward his friend, who welcomed him in with open arms. 

“I- why would you-”

“You and me forever, Big T.” Tubbo said with a watery smile.

“I’ll go with you guys!” Ghostbur chimed in, his tone somehow still cheerful despite everything that had just gone down in front of him. Tommy looked at Dream, hate filling his chest.

“If I ever see either of you on Dream SMP soil again, you’ll be the next Ghostburs, got it?” Dream said, receiving nods of confirmation before finally going through the portal. 

Tommy couldn’t believe it. He was finally free. And he had Tubbo by his side, and Wilbur too. He pulled Tubbo into a tight hug, finally feeling something other than numbness in his chest for the first time since his exile. 

“If you ever look at lava ever again I swear to god-” Tommy laughed, joy poking through his exterior.

“Never again. What would you do if you lost your Tommy?” Tubbo shrugged nonchalantly, pulling out of the hug to allow Tommy to lead the way to his portal. 

“Probably the same thing you did without your Tubbo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed!! For fic content, main series updates, and other MCYT content, follow my twitter @azkaabanter. I love you all <3


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